Welcome, child.

You are late.

The mass has already begun and the preacher is weeping into a velvet egg.

In The Church of Erotic Uncertainty, Mr. Bjorkman lays bare a holy doctrine stitched from lust, doubt, metaphysics, and leftover birthday cake. Here, the divine is confusing on purpose. The commandments flirt with you. And salvation requires a safeword.

Through unstable sermons, seductive parables, and psycho-sacramental provocations, you will learn:
• How to worship a question mark
• Why shame is just desire wearing a trench coat
• And how to perform communion using only your tongue and a very confused stranger

This is not satire.
This is scripture for the spiritually incorrect.

Kneel carefully.